Raccoon Eyes

People who know me pretty much know me for three signature things:  my all-black attire, my piercings, and my ultra-thick eyeliner. 

With my upcoming surgery, I had to take out all my piercings.  (See Guns and Needles).  I won’t be wearing my usual winter garb (black skirt and sweater and my trusty Doc Martens) either because I am only allowed to wear pull on sweatpants and a button-up shirt (I own neither).  Instead, I will be wearing pajama bottoms (spider web patterned), Tiernen’s grey flannel shirt, and some slip on sneakers. 

Even the eyeliner’s got to go for surgery because I can’t wear make up… I can’t shower for THREE DAYS after the surgery (that’s THURDSAY for those who are keeping track) and so I’ll be smellin’ funky. 

I could not feel much less like myself. 

I wear eyeliner all the time.  For those who care, it’s Almay, black, #205.  When Darryl and I talk about it, we refer to it simply as “205.”  I put it on thickly, both upper and lower lids, regardless of whether people tell me I look like a raccoon or not.  My eyes are tiny, and I sort of feel like I need it.  Darryl tells me that me without makeup is similar with Superman when he’s disguised as Clark Kent.  I just don’t look like me.

One time when I worked in Maine, there was a huge power outage and I was fairly sure school was going to be canceled, so I didn’t bother putting any eyeliner on.  Needless to say, five minutes before school was supposed to start, the electricity magically returned, and I had to drive super quickly to get to school in time.  I had NO eyeliner on and felt uber ugly.

I am blessed with migraines (sarcasm), and I get very light sensitive.  My students were accustomed to seeing me in sunglasses when my headaches were particularly bad.  I taught first period and didn’t have time to put on eyeliner, so I just threw on sunglasses.  At the end of the period, one student said, “I’m so sorry you have a bad headache, Ms. Hotaling.”  (this was before I was married)

I thought about lying, but she was so sweet about her concern, I reluctantly admitted that I didn’t have a headache… that I was wearing sunglasses because I didn’t have time to put on eyeliner in the morning.  Her response (along with the rest of the class) was to BEG me to show them what I looked like without eyeliner. 

Reluctantly, VERY RELUCTANTLY, I took off my glasses.

The response? 

The sweet, sensitive, caring girl burst out laughing, “Oh my God, it’s like seeing your grandfather without his teeth!”

In short:  I was scarred for LIFE.

Ready to see Grandpa without his teeth?

No eyeliner; no piercings.  Is this even me???